By Christopher Borrelli
Chicago Tribune
(MCT)

 
Sit down and shut up. Why? Because, folks, today, have we got a rumble for you — a debate that has been brewing for ages, both sides entrenched and livid, and both positions questionable. Indeed, for as long as humans have assembled to enjoy live music this argument has raged, a salvo of beer cups and shouted derision all around:

Is it OK to stand and dance at a concert when everyone around you is sitting?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Let’s consider this rationally. Both sides make good points. On the one hand, if you buy a ticket to a concert and stand-able music is played, you should be able to dance and sway and throw your hands in the air as generations before you have done — rocking out should be your prerogative. On the other hand, if you spend $132 on a ticket to a concert, you should be able to see that concert, and if the audience is in a sitting mood, who are you to block the sightlines of the 56 people behind you?

Let’s argue both sides of the issue:
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HEY, YOU! SIT DOWN!

Hey, knucklehead! Down in front! Do you think the show is any better because you’re standing? Aw, poor babies. Are your feelings hurt? Too bad. Now sit the hell down, because your concert-going experience is in no way enhanced by standing.

Here’s why.

Intensity: This quality isn’t defined by whether you sit or stand. I have been rocked harder by Chicago Symphony Orchestra Mahler concerts than metal bands. Musicians get off on crowd engagement and applause. There has been only one concert at which I have stood that I couldn’t have imagined wanting to sit: Electric Wizard at Chicago’s Double Door, eons ago. Because there were no seats. But also because it’s easier to hold your arms in the air, devil horns fully extended, when standing.

Aesthetics: Trust me, seeing a field of rhythm-less, droopy-bottomed hipsters twitching spasmodically makes you wish for enough mouth guards to keep them all from swallowing their tongues. Not a pretty sight. If the music is danceable, that’s one thing. When Sea & Cake played Orchestra Hall, some of the crowd, seized by the magic, found space along the edge of the room and shimmied to their hearts’ content.

Enough, already: Standing is like a trap. If the band goes on longer than expected, what then? It can’t be any less intense, right? And so you stand. And stand. And stand, because sitting at that point is like giving up or something. But you could be sitting, ya’ dummy.

Fairness: The person sitting behind you might not want to stand. By choosing to stand, you force the person behind you to stand. Then the person behind him or her stands and, voila, you have a room full of people who aren’t standing because they’re reallyreallyreallyreally into the music. They’re standing because they have to, in order to see, sort of a Dork Domino Theory. But the person behind you might subscribe to the Sit It, Ya’ Knucklehead Theory.
Like me. Because my worldview at concerts is like my driving worldview: I don’t care what you do, just don’t do it in front of me.

— Kevin Williams
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First, let me just say I’m a bit of a hypocrite. I’m here to defend standing at concerts and dancing when everyone around me is sitting on their hands, but I probably wouldn’t stand myself. I prefer not to have eyes on me; I have witnessed enough heated back-and-forths between concert standers and sitters to know sitters always prevail. Peer pressure is powerful.

And yet, if you need to dance, even if it’s right in front of me and I’m sitting, you should dance all night. There are exceptions, of course, like don’t dance during any performance in which the band is sitting.

Anywhere else, dance.

Dance at inappropriate times. Be that wacko in the front row who won’t sit down. The “live” in live performances already feels as though it’s bleeding from a million tiny cuts. Video screens, vocal tracking, teleprompters.

Unless you’re in a venue where sitting isn’t a real option, it’s easy to feel removed from performers these days.

The next time you’re in a balcony of a theater and someone in the front row is standing and you’re annoyed and wondering if he knows everyone behind him is sitting, remember where you are. No matter how much the concert industry has done in the name of convenience, a live show is still not hermetically sealed entertainment.

What’s that? If you just sat we wouldn’t be arguing?

True. But none of this is going away. As older performers acquire generations of fans — many of whom have reached the age where sitting is preferred, and many others for whom concert-going remains a leave-your-seat experience — concert venues say awkward confrontations between standing fans and fuming sitters are just getting worse.

What’s that? Standers should get their own section? Well, there are forward thinking concert halls and performers: For years, Bruce Springsteen has set aside thousands of tickets every show for a general-admission, standing section on the floor.

What? Majority rules? Thoughtful. But wasn’t it buttoned-down proletarian thinking that gave birth to pop music in the first place? Remember when rock was about stepping out of line?

Besides, a quick survey of venues suggests enforcement is random and etiquette murky.

Yes, energy and engagement are a two-way street — even when the performer’s knees are older than Brian Wilson. I’m reminded of the time I saw Wilco, and a man in the front row ate a sandwich, and Jeff Tweedy stopped mid-song to ask, “Do I come to where you work and eat a sandwich on your desk?” I’m reminded of my 14-year-old self, who thought quiet, obedient audiences were something other cultures endured because they weren’t democracies. I’m reminded of the woman who recently told me she tried to dance at an Eagles show and security sat her down.

Which is sad.

Surely, if you’re attending an Eagles concert in 2009, you need your exercise and you probably won’t be mall walking the next morning. Next time, stand your ground.

— Christopher Borrelli
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(c) 2009, Chicago Tribune.
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