Beginning in early childhood, we are told to be ourselves. It’s the solution for everything from meeting new friends to getting a job. The ironic thing is that very few of us are actually being ourselves. A large portion of people in the United States are all about keeping up with the Jones’. Simply look at the mortgage crisis and bankruptcy rates—many people wallow in debt just to seem like they have what everyone else has. Our children compete to get the same grades, get into the same schools, and get the same jobs. We have been good little students, following others for so long that we have forgotten what we already have learned and know as unique individuals.

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of listening to Michele Woodward, Master Certified Coach and owner of Life Frame Works, talk about this very concept. She was discussing how some of us tend to get into the role of seekers and are hesitant to take the step to accepting what we already know. As a seeker, we grasp for more knowledge, more accreditations, and more titles to show that we know our field. By doing this we often fall into the trap of imitating the moves of the successful people who have become before us. And though this may work to a certain degree, you can’t move fully ahead into success if you are waiting for the next accolade. People are looking to follow a leader, not a seeker. Woodward said once we accept where we are and what we have to offer; that is when a true shift happens in our business, careers, and life endeavors. She mentioned the phrase “Be Your Own Buddha”, meaning: follow your own path.

When starting a business or a new career, remember to stay clear of idol worship. Those who precede you may offer a lot of guidance, but you need to be clear about your own knowledge, worth, and individuality. This puts you on solid ground. Everyone is seeking something, but they want to see leadership in others; a distinction between seeing the value in others’ work and just blindly following it.

Once I looked at the world from this seeker vs. accepter viewpoint, I could see how it played out all around us. Most recently it made me think of Michael Jackson. Though he may have been wildly eccentric at times, he really did become his own Buddha. As the youngest in his family he could have followed his older siblings and molded himself solely in their image. But, through his gift and desire to achieve, he stood out. When his producers tried to tell him how to make an instant hit, he resisted those ideas and created a style of music and video that changed the world. He began to follow his own way, a path that led to a worldwide following.

In a clip shown on TV after he passed away, I heard him say that “the problem with artists is that they try to make the art happen. That’s not the way it is, the art happens on its own, but you have to be there and open to it when it comes.” So while others were seeking, he had the confidence to know that when it came he would know exactly what to do with it.

This technique doesn’t just work with rock stars; it works with anyone who becomes clear about their knowledge. I was coaching a client last week—there are times when you just know where a client needs to go to find the greatest relief and breakthrough. Sometimes it may not be the most comfortable place as a coach because the technique may not be your preferred method. But as a coach, it’s not about you it’s about them. When I was faced with this situation and could clearly see what a client needed, I knew I had to be my own Buddha and use the knowledge I already had to maneuver though this particular method. I had to free myself from how I thought it should be done or my perception of the right way. By freeing myself, I became my own Buddha and this gave my client the space to create her own path. In the end, she came to a great place of enlightenment. Had I just followed the prescribed version of the technique or fell back on how someone else might have done it, I would have lost the client in the process and in turn she may not have found relief.

Start looking at how you are approaching your career and life endeavors. Are you being your own Buddha and celebrating the wealth of knowledge that you already have?

Do you have a question for Laura? Email her at:Laura@corelifedesign.com

Laura Tirello is a Life and Career Coach.  Her company, Core Life Design, works with people who are looking to find their highest potential both in their careers and personal lives. She helps her clients develop a life plan for success and create a balanced life. For more information about Laura and her life coaching business, visit corelifedesign.com or email Laura at Laura@corelifedesign.com.